Kirsten's Boudoir Experience
Kirsten Shares the Story of her Boudoir Photoshoot
When we asked Kirsten to write about her boudoir photoshoot experience with us, we were so touched by her story. Kirsten is someone who truly has become a genuine friend after the first shoot we did, and we’re constantly inspired by her strength as a mother, wife and all-round amazing person.
I knew I’d always wanted to do a boudoir shoot, but I was too nervous to actually go through with it... after all, it’s not an easy thing to contemplate getting half naked in front of a stranger! I was concerned it would feel like an incredibly awkward situation, and given that most of the photographers I’d seen were men, I was worried about doing something so intimate and personal with a random person who might have potentially been a bit of a creep!
I also wasn’t 100% happy with my body. I always thought certain things could be ‘better’ in some way, especially after having kids. Those insecurities around my body really held me back. My body changed a lot after having two children - I’m bigger in places that I wasn’t before; I have stretch marks I never used to have... it was hard to adjust to feeling so different. My husband always told me that I was beautiful, and that he thought I had the best body, but I still found it so hard to actually believe. I appreciated the compliments, but taking them on board felt like a totally different story!
On top of that, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in November 2020 - which is a chronic lifelong illness that causes chronic fatigue syndrome and widespread pain which impacts my muscles, bones and joints. I’ve also dealt with endometriosis for many years before that too. I’m not the same person I was, and I’m never going to be that person again. There are certain things that my body just can’t do that I used to find easy, no matter how hard I try now. With the fatigue, I used to be able to go out during the day and then do something all night and be fine! But now, I can spend an hour out of the house and I’m left feeling completely exhausted. I remember before I began treatment for the endometriosis, it was four years of severe cramps, bloating, etc… it’s hard to describe the toll it took on me over those years. The fibromyalgia pain also started getting worse around the same time.
Given everything, it just hadn’t seemed like a boudoir photoshoot was on the cards for me. But when I met Talia and Jasper, they were both so friendly and I felt incredibly comfortable around them. I ended up thinking ‘what the hell’, and signed up to give it a go!
Some of my family members didn’t quite know what boudoir photography was, so I showed them some photos from the Heartfire Boudoir website and they were really excited and supportive. My mum said “Well if you’ve got the body for it, you might as well!”, which still makes me laugh to think about. My husband was definitely the most excited, not surprisingly!
As the date of the shoot drew closer, I found myself feeling more and more anxious about how it would go. I’d never really modelled before, and I was worried that I’d have no idea what to do! I was definitely nervous at the start, and I found myself wondering ‘Am I doing it right? Does it look good?’. I was so conscious of my facial expressions as well… having done pole dancing, I had a bit of an idea about how to make shapes with my body, but I had no clue what to do with my face to ‘look sexy’! As time went on though, I started to feel a lot more comfortable. Talia and Jasper were so great at guiding me through poses and helping me with the facial expressions too. In the end, hours flew by and I barely even noticed because I was having such a fun time! I honestly just ended up forgetting everything I was worried about at the start.
During the shoot itself, Jasper showed me a few photos on the back of the camera as we went and I just remember thinking “Who is that chick?? That’s not me!”. I know when I look at myself in a mirror, I look inherently the same as how I look in photos - but it feels so different still. It’s different when it’s captured that way, and it definitely made me feel absolutely amazing, really beautiful, and a lot more confident in myself.
By the time I left, I was SO excited to see all the images!! I was tired too haha (Talia had told me the shoot would feel a bit like a yoga class, and she wasn’t wrong!), but it was so so worth it. When I finally saw the photos, it was almost like looking at another person I hardly recognised… my first thought was just “Oh. My. GOD.” I genuinely never thought I could look like that. I felt so beautiful, and I was beyond excited to show my husband, friends and family!
In hindsight, the experience really has changed the way I see myself now. I feel more confident in how I look, and as a result, I feel more confident as a person. I’ve realised that I do actually look like that, and it’s a lot easier to believe my husband’s compliments these days. Even though I’m a make-up artist, I spend most of my time wearing casual clothes and very little make-up myself, so I never feel particularly fancy. It makes me love looking back at the photos these days, and I sometimes think to myself that I scrub up pretty alright!
My husband is obsessed with the photos as well, which makes me so happy. He was absolutely in shock seeing them for the first time! He actually has one of them printed and sitting on his computer desk so he can stare at it all day haha.
To anyone who might be considering a boudoir shoot, I’d say just DO IT. Talia and Jasper are awesome people, and you’ll feel absolutely fine. It’s not as scary once you do it, it really is just those anxieties beforehand. You’ll feel comfortable, empowered, like a total badass, and you really will have such a fun time.
I think I’ve also loved and really valued being part of the VIP Facebook group that Heartfire Boudoir runs as well. It’s been great fun - and it feels like a little community almost. You get to know everyone even though you’ve never met in-person, and it’s an incredibly supportive space where people just build each other up.
I seriously have no regrets about doing a boudoir shoot, and have just recently done a second one with Heartfire Boudoir as well (which was an equally amazing, but far less nerve-wracking experience!). I feel so thankful and proud of myself for taking that initial leap and just going for it!
Kirsten <3
