FIVE Myths About Doing a Boudoir Session.
MYTH: I’ll have to get naked or wear lingerie.
The beauty of boudoir is that it can be literally whatever you want and need it to be. Every single person has a different language and expression of sensuality. Some people feel confident and empowered when they’re wearing nothing at all. Some feel that way when they’re covered in lace lingerie and pearls. For others, it might be when they’re wearing an oversized t-shirt and some worn-in black boots. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to boudoir photography. We’re here to help you explore the parts of yourself that you want to explore. It’s a space where you can be free to wear (or not wear) whatever makes you feel amazing.
MYTH: I have to lose weight or have the ‘perfect figure’.
This is one of those particularly pesky ones. I think it’s safe to say that we all have those niggling thoughts in the back of our minds… that we’ll do the things we really want to when such-and-such happens. And frequently, that ‘such-and-such’ is about us feeling as though we need to change our physical appearance. It’s something we’ve been taught that we can (and should) change to fit a certain mold. But life is what passes us by while we wait for those anxieties to take up less space in our minds… while we try to change things about ourselves that were never wrong or broken to begin with. Our bodies were never the problem. We truly believe that every person can look absolutely incredible, exactly as they are, right in this very moment. When we look at photographs of other people, whether they’re in smaller or larger bodies than ourselves, we often recognise that person’s beauty because it’s not about what size they are… it’s about how they carry themselves, the look in their eyes, or the slight smile that says so much more than words ever could. We don’t apply the same harsh critique to them that we do to ourselves, and it undermines our ability to view ourselves in that light. Give yourself the chance to see yourself how the rest of the world sees you, and know that you’re already enough.
MYTH: I’m shy and/or not a ‘sexy’ person.
I don’t think there’s any person who walks into a boudoir photoshoot feeling 100% free of nerves, or feeling confident that they innately know how to ‘look sexy’. I want to put some of those worries at ease - it’s not your job to know. It’s our job to help guide and coach you, and to walk you through poses that you feel comfortable with. You could be the shyest person in the world, but still look amazing in photographs when you’re given a safe place to try new things and support from people who do this for a living. But those details aside, the sexiest thing any person can do is just to give themselves permission to feel sexy. To embrace the part of themselves that has always been there, but might not have had many opportunities to be expressed. Funnily enough, you’ll also find that a lot of the poses that look REALLY sexy are the ones that are the most hilariously difficult to get into or for us to photograph/capture, and we all have an absolute blast together during those moments. It can actually be a pretty enlightening experience to demystify what ‘sexy’ truly involves!
MYTH: It’s vain to have sexy photos taken.
Society somehow manages to simultaneously teach us that our appearance is all that matters, and at the same time, that it’s vain or conceited to acknowledge that we like the way we look. But having sexy photos taken isn’t any more vain than getting a massage or going for a run… or taking that mental health day for yourself… or knowing when to say ‘no’ to other people because you’re feeling burnt out. It’s no different from putting on make-up in the morning because it makes you feel good. Or buying that pair of jeans because it makes your butt look amazing. It’s self-care. It’s something that can be entirely for yourself. And when you spend your life taking care of others, going to work, and managing the million responsibilities you have every single day, no one should have the right to tell you that you can’t take one single day to treat yourself.
MYTH: I need to have a partner to share the photos with.
It’s a lovely thing to be able to share your photos with a partner. But you know what’s also lovely? Having an amazing experience just for you, where you give yourself permission to do the things that society so often deems unnecessary (like taking time for yourself, exploring your sensuality, daring to embrace your own beauty… you know, all of those clearly unreasonable things!). I don’t think a blog post can adequately convey how strongly I feel this, but YOU are enough of a reason. You deserve to feel pampered. To feel confident, strong and beautiful. To have photographs to look back on which make you think ‘Holy crap, I did that. Me. I had no idea that I could.’ It’s oftentimes a difficult journey to truly understand our own worth, but that journey starts with realising that it’s ok (and in fact, incredibly important) to allow yourself to do things simply for yourself.
